I’ve just returned from a week in Lebanon, and something in me feels full in a way that is still settling. It might be the warmth and kindness that met me in so many conversations. It might be the way people generously shared stories about the many cultures woven into Middle Eastern life. It might also be the simple fact that meaning continues to grow there, even amid the disorganization of daily life.
I can still hear Beirut’s traffic buzzing in my body. And the taste of mezze hasn’t quite let go of me yet.
Coming from quiet, orderly Denmark, the contrast is striking.
My purpose for being there was to offer Trauma‑Sensitive Facilitation to facilitators and teachers who support groups living with the after‑effects of the civil war, the large Syrian refugee presence, and many other layers of hardship.
The people in the room — and the communities they serve — live with collective trauma: wars, displacement, missing family members, the explosion at Beirut’s harbor, earthquakes, Israeli attacks that occurred even during my stay, all inside a country with 18 different faith communities and a very complex political landscape.
Collective trauma manifests within each person.
Yet it can feel impossible to touch each painful event one by one. So the question becomes: What makes a group feel safe enough for trust and learning to happen?
Before arriving, the organizers and I talked about how I could be most useful, especially since most of my work has been one‑to‑one. We discovered together that a peer‑led, participatory approach made more sense — one where I would accompany rather than teach.
A different objective when the backdrop is trauma
In a context where emotional overwhelm is familiar to almost everyone, diving into early trauma isn’t always the right step, particularly in groups. People usually know in their own bodies what is safe for them, and having their vulnerable moments exposed in a group does not feel safe. So the focus shifts away from “How can I bring this person into healing?” toward a gentler question:
How can we, as a group, offer an ongoing sense of relative safety without needing to revisit the deepest pain?
The good news is that we don’t always need to reach the root of trauma to create ease in the present. Overwhelming experiences tend to link together inside us, like tiny bulbs on a string of lights. When one softens, others often soften along with it — even without being named.
We explored the Polyvagal Theory and the states of the autonomic nervous system: Social Engagement, Sympathetic Activation, and, when helplessness hits, Immobilization. We practiced “time‑traveling” to recent experiences to let the tension loosen its grip on the body. We also looked at how collective trauma can shape unconscious beliefs, such as “We will never trust authority, in order to provide safety for ourselves and our families” and “We won’t believe change is possible, in order to avoid disappointment and hopelessness”.
The heart of the work is simple
The principles are:
- Naming and holding the enormity of what happened
- Acknowledging the feelings; both the overwhelm and, as they surface, what led to overwhelm, and
- Discovering the human needs not met (the ‘In order to…’)
When facilitators meet the participants from a grounded sense of calm within – and when they can return to calm after being triggered — their groups will feel safer. When they furthermore hold the above principles in their awareness and lead from this understanding, workshops can be shaped around emotional care rather than just content.
What I got with me from my visit to Lebanon
What I bring home is humility. And a quiet sense of wonder at how much kindness can live inside a group of people whose histories include being torn apart, hurt, or set against one another.
I’ll be sharing a similar curriculum in person in New Zealand in February and Slovenia in May 2026.
If you feel called to deepen your practice as an NVC practitioner, coach, or facilitator, you’re welcome to explore more at:
Coach Training — Needs-Based Coaching
Deepen the connection with yourself and others through the power of NVC.
If it resonates, I’d be glad to meet you somewhere on this path.
