Today it's about courage. The courage to stand up and say it loudly, as everyone whispers, or to say, even if the others join.
Many believe that brave people do not know for fear. But as one of those who are regularly acknowledged for my courage to stand up, I can deny it. The feeling ranges from awkwardly over nervous to the scare. It often takes time and effort. Courage is not the absence of fear. It is fear that keeps our Lord in hand.
It's like winter bathing; Winter bathers can easily notice the cutting discomfort at the cold, but they do it anyway.
We need our courage when ...
When we discover that we are talking again om anyone. Instead of with them. About-The talk can be necessary to cope with the mind and understand one's own reaction. repeated about-Talk can be a sign of a bad business culture with backpackers and gossip.
Or when we do not like what we see or are part of. As a young person, I worked at a salad factory where I was asked to replace the labels with old computer labeling on the fine herring salad cups with fresh computer brands. It just was not okay; At that time I did not have the courage to speak loudly.
Or when we tell ourselves that we have been overlooked, stepped on, snooped on, manipulated and all the other interpretations of others' behaviors that involve de have done something wrong. Maybe they have, and maybe they do not know how their actions affect others. Dialogue is what can prevent energy-absorbing dissatisfaction and resignation, paving the way for a good working environment.
Convenience or self-esteem?
First of all, we must acknowledge that it is not comfortable. You may feel exposed, naked or silly when you start saying that is difficult. Or you are afraid that colleagues and the boss take an assassination and judge you - with unimaginable consequences.
To feel its fear is part of it to show courage. But do not let it stop there. Tying also has long-term consequences - for your self-esteem and your well-being in the workplace.
A fifth is then to hold you on your own half and resist the temptation to tell the others what you think about them.
Try to keep an eye on the observation - what happened, quite strictly told?
And then you tell me what it did to you - did you become uncomfortable, unsure, maybe confused?
Followed by what you long for - perhaps peace of mind, justice or respect.
When you're sure your message has gone through, it's most important: You ask what you with pleasure want them to do. It's not just talk and hunch. You take responsibility and ask for something that matters to you.
Vulnerable - but not weak
In the example of the herring salad it could sound like this:
"When you ask me to replace the old labels with fresh, I'll be annoyed. It's important for me that customers get honest information about what they buy. Do you want to help us to waste the old frames of herring salad?
Perhaps the answer is 'no'. More likely, it's the opening of a conversation, where I get the opportunity to target what matters to me.
If the case is herring salad, a colleague who smells, a boss coming too close or a whole culture with blame game or inefficiency or any-one-enough-the first step in the change is to find the courage to address it.
We often think that when we feel vulnerable and exposed, we appear weak. But in fact, it is experienced as the strength of those who testify to it. Perhaps it's worth remembering when you go for a walk.